When a couple decides to divorce, one of the most underhanded tactics that is sometimes employed is getting child protective agencies involved. Of course if a child is actually being abused the authorities need to be notified, but all too often the truth is the parent has committed no crime, the child is not in any danger, and the parent is simply using the system as a weapon. We are Robert Raskin and Kathleen Raskin, and we want you to know that if your soon-to-be-ex has called DHR to try to get revenge on you or to gain control of the children, these are the facts you’ll need to know. If you are thinking about putting your child through this yourself, consider the fact that you may be the one who is not a fit parent.
The Immediate Danger to Your Child
Outside of the perils of an uncertain foster care system, there are other horrors that your child could experience once these agencies are involved in a contentious divorce. They will be cross-examined by investigators and asked to answer traumatic questions about the parents they love. This can border on a full-blown interrogation, and it is not an experience your child will soon forget. In most cases, a physical examination by a doctor, or even a gynecologist in the case of false accusations of sexual abuse, will also be a part of this process.
Consider the Potential Outcome for the Child
If the parent who must win at all costs uses CPS or DHR and is successful, that leaves children in a terrible position. Separating a child from a loving parent is wrong and will leave long-lasting damage that they may very well carry over into adulthood and into their own future relationships. In the present, they will suffer depression, anxiety, fear, and anger, and once they are put into foster care or a group home they will also risk abuse. Children who are lost in the system often do not have good outcomes when they transition into adulthood, so you could be setting them up for a life of misery.
How This Tactic Can Backfire
There are many cases when child protection agencies were involved that resulted in the children being permanently removed from the family and placed up for adoption. Sure, your ex could end up out of the children’s lives, and thus also out of your own. However, there are consequences to making false reports, and you may also end up out of your children’s lives for good. The court could very well determine that neither of you are fit to parent once they see that you or your former partner are willing to use and abuse a child in this way. This is Robert Raskin and Kathey Raskin, reminding you that these agencies should only be called if you are certain beyond any shadow of a doubt that they are in danger.
